WARNING: you may be highly offended if you have braces....but I don't care! READ ON!
Okay so after my heart ouch, I decided what better than to bandaid it with another man. I had been chatting to BB (brace boy) for a little while but had not yet met him. First impression...he spoke alot about money which seems to be a reoccurence on my dates (?????). He told me about his life story on our first phone call and I mean from birth until now. It was slightly overwhelming but I suppose he was nervous.
Finally when time freed up, we decided we were going to go out for dinner. He came to pick me up. Very gentlemanly..opened my door, he was proper, clean cut, well dressed.....and he had braces. Now, I have NOTHING against anyone who has them but I found it rather odd to see a grown 38 year old man with braces. It brough me back to my youth when I was in grade five......
Carrying on, we went for dinner, I got a mouth full on how his future "wife" had to make sure she always looked good and took care of herself or no wonder he would stray away (!!?!?!?) and divorce is out of the question hmmmmmmmmmm So the wife doesn't look good anymore, the husband is going to cheat but divorce isn't an option. WHERE DO YOU COME FROM BUDDY?!?!?!?!?
And he is one to say this when he has a belly already!?!???!?! (As I observately noticed at the table....).
The rest of the conversation was quite superficial....at least my steak and dirty were good. At the end of the meal he excused himself and left off to the restroom with his little braces bag....
Date ended, remember no kisses on the first date. The guy was nice but not much more. A couple of days later, we decided to go to a movie. I think this was out of possible boredom that I agreed to go!
On the way to the movie I got another mouthful on how he couldn't understand why I wanted to get married but not in a church. He couldn't comprehend then why what the purpose of getting married was Oh god help me! At least he had to keep his mouth shout during the movie.
So I was actually getting nervous during the movie because I could feel him inching his way towards me. Yuck....I had these awful thoughts start going through my head. What if he tries to kiss me. What if his braces cut my lips. What happens if his braces get stuck in my tongue. OMG OMG OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!!!??! Slight panic mode. The movie ended and he drove me home. All I could think about was his braces attacking my mouth. My heart started pounding and my hands got clammy. I didn't want to kiss him!!!!!!!!!!! So the car stops in from of my place and the awkward moment begins. The stare in the eyes and slow lean in AHHHHHHHHH they're coming for me!!!!!!!..........So I dodge to the left, dodge to the right and out of the car I ran! I just couldn't do the brace, just no my cup of tea!
BEEMER BOYZ...
I just realised not too long ago that the last FIVE guys that I've gone on dates with drive BMW. So this enticed a theory....Maybe its not the type of guy that's not working for me, maybe it's the car. BMW's seem to attract a particular type of man....Hence maybe I need to change cars in order to get a different type of man....Mercedes, Audi, Lexus.....Maybe I'll have better luck ;)
Signed with a kiss,
Dee Dee xo
No comments:
Post a Comment