Attack of the killer braces and BEEMER BOYZ

WARNING: you may be highly offended if you have braces....but I don't care! READ ON!


Okay so after my heart ouch, I decided what better than to bandaid it with another man. I had been chatting to BB (brace boy) for a little while but had not yet met him. First impression...he spoke alot about money which seems to be a reoccurence on my dates (?????).  He told me about his life story on our first phone call and I mean from birth until now. It was slightly overwhelming but I suppose he was nervous. 


Finally when time freed up, we decided we were going to go out for dinner. He came to pick me up. Very gentlemanly..opened my door, he was proper, clean cut, well dressed.....and he had braces. Now, I have NOTHING against anyone who has them but I found it rather odd to see a grown 38 year old man with braces. It brough me back to my youth when I was in grade five......


Carrying on, we went for dinner, I got a mouth full on how his future "wife" had to make sure she always looked good and took care of herself or no wonder he would stray away (!!?!?!?) and divorce is out of the question hmmmmmmmmmm So the wife doesn't look good anymore, the husband is going to cheat but divorce isn't an option. WHERE DO YOU COME FROM BUDDY?!?!?!?!?
And he is one to say this when he has a belly already!?!???!?! (As I observately noticed at the table....). 


The rest of the conversation was quite superficial....at least my steak and dirty were good. At the end of the meal he excused himself and left off to the restroom with his little braces bag....
Date ended, remember no kisses on the first date. The guy was nice but not much more. A couple of days later, we decided to go to a movie. I think this was out of possible boredom that I agreed to go! 


On the way to the movie I got another mouthful on how he couldn't understand why I wanted to get married but not in a church. He couldn't comprehend then why what the purpose of getting married was Oh god help me! At least he had to keep his mouth shout during the movie. 


So I was actually getting nervous during the movie because I could feel him inching his way towards me. Yuck....I had these awful thoughts start going through my head. What if he tries to kiss me. What if his braces cut my lips. What happens if his braces get stuck in my tongue. OMG OMG OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!!!??! Slight panic mode. The movie ended and he drove me home. All I could think about was his braces attacking my mouth. My heart started pounding and my hands got clammy. I didn't want to kiss him!!!!!!!!!!! So the car stops in from of my place and the awkward moment begins. The stare in the eyes and slow lean in AHHHHHHHHH they're coming for me!!!!!!!..........So I dodge to the left, dodge to the right and out of the car I ran! I just couldn't do the brace, just no my cup of tea!


BEEMER BOYZ...
I just realised not too long ago that the last FIVE guys that I've gone on dates with drive BMW. So this enticed a theory....Maybe its not the type of guy that's not working for me, maybe it's the car. BMW's seem to attract a particular type of man....Hence maybe I need to change cars in order to get a different type of man....Mercedes, Audi, Lexus.....Maybe I'll have better luck ;)


Signed with a kiss,
Dee Dee xo

Mr. Erfect

So this is actually when my odd dating experiences took a temporary turn for the better.
After so many weird dates, I was just about to give up. I had agreed to go on a date with this guy I had met on the dating site. But really, I  was not really looking forward to it because I was worried I was going to meet another wack job and didn't think I could possibly handle it! I went into this date with absolutely no expectations except for one..he's probably weird and once again I'll go home disappointed.


I have to say at first this man was not my usual type...at all. I usually go for the exotic ethnic type. He was tall, blond hair, fair skin, American... and after meeting him very reserved and quiet. Now, I am not conservative nor quiet in any way shape or form! I kinda had to tone myself down cause I thought I was going to scare the guy off! We hit it off well on the first date and was glad to say he was completely normal! WOW FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!


I didn't know if I was going to see him again after this lunch date, but like I said I had no expectations. Well I ended up "dating" him for close to two months. I was actually HAPPY! I felt good being with him, I enjoyed his company but also his quietness and calmness. We did fun things together and even sometimes did nothing, which was just as pleasant. 


For the time that I knew Mr. Erfect, I found myself not worrying about the things that would usually bother me. I noticed on our first date and there after that he made a "hmmmmmm" noise every so often. I couldn't figure out if he was enjoying something I wasn't aware of or maybe a tick. I came to realize that it was just a pensive noise, as he often seemed to be in his thoughts. Cute! He also became such a grumpy pants when he was tired or hungry. Usually that would piss me off, but this time it didn't. I thought it was funny.


On one of our dates, we discussed how and why some people wait to have sex before marriage. I can definitely tell you that is an area I absolutely need to explore before making that move! I joked that he'd have to wait 3 months before getting anything from me. AND REALLY I was JOKING. Hell, I'm a nympho how could I possibly wait that long with this handsome man in front of me!!?!?!? Well that actually turned out to be just about accurate, I guess it kinda turned into a challenge or something. WELL WOW, believe me it proved to be extremely difficult. All I could think about was jumping him when we were fooling around! 


I have nothing weird or wrong to say about this man....You may have noticed that Mr. Erfect is missing a letter in his name.... This is because he moved away and now we live in different Places. Otherwise he really would be my Mr. Perfect.... I have to be honest this was a big pinch on my heart...and some days still is....It's hard when you actually feel the way you want to about and with someone and in no time at all it's all gone. Today we still keep in touch but now I'm left with the dilemma is this just a long pause or a slow delete? You wonder why you meet people sometimes when in the end you can't be with them. Anyone have an explanation? Cause I most certainly don't.


 I'M I EVER GOING TO CATCH A BREAK??????
 BACK TO SQUARE ONE.


Signed with a broken kiss,
Dee Dee xo

An Elvis Story

Once upon a time in the 1950's, lived a Greek woman who was obsessed with the King of Rock. Instead of traditionally naming her son after the grandfather's name she decided to rebel and go with something else....... ELVIS.

Really? Is that reallllllly your name!?!??! Well indeed it was. When I met him for the first time I actually thought he kinda looked like him too. Black hair, kind of puffy on top with a little front curl, dark eyes, medium build but didn't really look like his profile picture. But this seems to be the theme with the dating sites...

So as usual, the beginning was weird. Right off the bat, I had that bad gut feeling the minute I laid eyes on Elvis so I just decided to go with the flow and try to enjoy the evening as I knew it would be going nowhere.

To start off, the conversation was good, but it usually is...well actually I'd have to say it was interesting. He got right down to business and decided to explain why it didn't work out with the other woman. (considering he was much older, I was a little curious)

"So this one ex-girlfirend went on vacation to Cuba. She said she would bring me back a little souvenir..." he started off.

Well that's cute I thought.

"....So when she came back I was excited to see what she brought me... She took out this really shitty souvenir from the souvenir shop. I couldn't believe she was so thoughtless and brought back THAT!" he began to explain defensively.

"Well isn't it the thought that counts???" I asked completely shocked at his reaction!!

"We'll it didn't matter. I realized that she had put no thought into my gift so I decided I wasn't going to date a thoughtless girl and I broke it off with her!"

Hmmmm okay is he seriously??? What a self-fish, greedy prick!!!! I thought he was going to say she cheated on him which would be total break-up worthy. But no, he simply just didn't like the gift she brought him back from CUBA!!! At this point, I totally shut off and noticed this weird growth on his gums. "What is that??? Ewwww that's so gross!!!" I  was saying to myself. I'm sure my disgusted thoughts were written all over my face as Im really not good at hiding my emotions! (A nice mouth and teeth are a must. I guess its kinda one of my things).

Then he proceeded with the second story. Oh boy here we go....what? this one didn't make your bed properly???

"Then this one time, I was having this nice bottle of Porto. It was quite expensive and I thought you should know I DON'T have  a lot of money! (okay random). She had finished her glass and mine was nearing the end. She poured herself another glass but didn't refill mine. I was so appalled that she hadn't thought of me I burst out in anger and immediately dumped her!" again he said angrily.

Now I just don't know what to say! " Well I guess your a difficult man to please Elvis. I guess these women are no Priscilla's!!..."

Blah. blah, blah, went on. Dessert came around and he reached for my hands and tried to feed me chocolate mousse. Oh barf! This is way too cheesy and I felt uncomfortable. We ended the night in a whisky lounge. I drank quite a bit cause I figured the alcohol would at least make me feel warm and fuzzy unlike this King of Douches!

The night finally ended with him saying if I was interested I should give him a call...

Yeahhhhh that never happened and I graciously lived without my King of Rock happily ever after in my own Graceland!

Signed with a kiss,

Dee Dee xo

ps. Am I seriously everrrrrrrr going to meet anyone normal!?!!?!!?!?!!?