One morning, after a great sleep I woke up to a plethora of emails from that dating website I confessed about. I logged on to go check them out....nothing interesting as usual! The only thing that was different today was that someone started to speak to me on instant chat. Ohh this is new and could be fun. The conversation went well..fast, so fast that we decided to meet up for lunch within the hour!
Wow! Ok! I get ready in due time, trying to ignore my nerves, trying to ignore the fact that I feel like throwing up from the nervousness! Five minutes til meeting time ahhhhhhhh, butterflies, pounding heart, What I am doing?!?!??!?!?! I wait outside patiently, to see a black car approach my house. Yup that was him..
Okay...hmmmm he looks a little different from the pictures but hey, that's always expected right? He greets me with a kiss kiss and we hop into the car.....
2 minutes in.....
"I'm getting a surgery there next week" he says.
"Oh, are you okay??? For what?" I asked concerned
"I can't tell you..."
Okay this is weird I think to myself, but if the guy doesn't want to tell me I won't push it, so I drop it.
"Okay fine...I'm getting a nose job!" he blurts out.
I respond kind of in shock..."REALLY, WHY? Your nose looks fine to me" (and it really did, nothing wrong with it all all)
"Well you know...I'm also going to get botox and rejuvederm and all that stuff in a couple years!"
OMG who did I get into the car with????????????????? I'm pretty sure he saw the reaction on my face and quickly dropped that topic.
4 minutes in......
"You know my car is the one of five BMW whatever number, in this city....." as he floors it into third gear and my heart nearly stops.
"Oh okay..." I reply
"Oh and we have to go by the bank because I need to deposit 3000$ dollars...I don't really work, it's just something I have to do"
Dude I don't care about your freakin BMWhatever. It doesn't impress me. I couldn't care less that you have 3000$ to deposit. And why the hell don't you work???? I want my Man to be the Man and work!!!Now THAT turns me on. Are you seriously trying to impress me or are you just plain stupid? I'll go with the latter. There wasn't much to say for a bit....
11 minutes in.....
While I'm waiting for him to deposit his impressive "three thousand dollars", I wait outside extremely uncertain about this date. He finishes the drop and we start walking to our lunch destination. At the same time we also pass by a McDonald's ("Oh God, please don;t bring me there!!!!")
He mentions at how health conscious he is, and says that he hasn't eaten McD's in over 7 years. Well this is a good thing for anyone. I am also a very healthy person, but just happen to have had it the past weekend. I begin to tell him....
"It's funny you mention that, because I don't eat McD's either but at my friend's wedding this weekend the midnight buffet was MCD'S. How could anyone resist I just had to have some!"
I explain that it was my friend's claim to fame to eat McDonald's after a night out and that it was the perfect touch to have at her wedding.
"Well at my wedding, when I have a midnight buffet I'm
going to have dildo's for everyone.....!!!!!"
(WWWWWWWWWWWWTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF)
"What??????????" I respond.
"Well you know, after a night out everyone like dildos. What do you do after a night out at 3 am? He said completely oblivious to what has just uttered his mouth.
"I GO TO BED!" I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, thank god I was wearing sunglasses.
I had absolutely no clue what to do in this situation. I couldn't believe he just said that. My heart dropped into my stomach and I seriously felt sick. I had no car, not too acquainted with the PT system.... Okay suck it up, just go eat (it's the afternoon) and then get the hell outta there. that's what I did. Quick lunch, quick ride home, quick goodbye....Hasta la vista wacko, have fun with your dildos!
Needless to say, I stayed away from MY dildo for quiet some time ;)
Signed with a kiss,
Dee Dee xo
Why is he Mr. 3am?
ReplyDeleteAnd Dildoes... WTF???
LOL
cause that's when he likes to use dildos ;)
ReplyDelete